Why do fools fall in love...?

I'm leaving really soon so thought I'd finally have this cup of coffee with Tristan, my serious relationship ex...We landed up having coffee for 5 hours...it was really good. We've only seen each other once briefly since the breakup and the coffee went smoother than I could have imagined. We chatted through things and it was really hard to hear a lot of it but things needed to be said. I think the hardest thing is hearing him talk about other girls. He's hardly been with anyone and was horrified when he heard the odd person I'd been with, he said, "how many guys have you been with?" Shame, I think it's normally the guy who goes wild after a breakup and he thinks its the other way around. He also said, "I hope you aren't going home with all these guys" and I felt like telling him that he was actually insulting me, it's like he doesn't know me at all. Anyway, the rest of the coffee went well, occasionally we subtly tuned each other. He asked if I'd cheated on Dave and I said no, so he said, "Wow, he got off lucky hey". 'Cause I cheated on Tristan which is something I've always said I'd never ever do - but that's another whole long story. Things are still hurting but we left on a really good note... actually too good. We landed up having a good night kiss and it's amazing how good it feels when you've wanted it for so long...how right it feels, Its a bit of a mindf*%k.

The Weekend

It was my ex's and my anniversary this weekend - that was a tough one. Apart from that on Thursday evening my family and friends went to dinner and a show at a Supper Theatre to celebrate my birthday. I had the most wonderful evening and killed myself laughing right the way through the show. Afterwards, the young 'uns went on the town but not much was open so we landed up going to the new boyfriend's place and chilled, should we give him a name...? I think yes, lets call him David. Friday evening Dave came to my house, some 100 km from his place to house sit with me. Saturday he had a rugby game which I watched and really enjoyed and yesterday we went to the beach in the morning and back up to my place in the afternoon and chilled with my parents, brother and his girlfriend. I decided to have this celebration early because the show finished yesterday and Dave asked if he could take me out for my birthday. I cannot believe it. For so long I hinted to my ex for some kind of a surprise, I even threw him a couple of surprise parties to show him how much fun they were. Even if he'd just made a reservation for us for a celebration would have been enough but a few years ago I gave up. Here is this boy who I have known for probably two months and he is so excited to give me this 'surprise' on Friday night. So I'm so amped and dying to know where we're going.


I'll try and describe him as best I can. I wouldn't say he's amazingly good looking but he has quirks that I'm starting to love about him and that I find incredibly endearing. He plays rugby socially, is very musical and I think he's a romantic at heart. He's an absolute Gentleman. Holds doors open, pours drinks, keeps them topped up etc etc. At the end of last week, I was beginning to worry that I was indulging too much, I felt like he was giving and giving and giving and I was only taking. I chatted to him about this and explained that I felt like I was indulging in his attention and affections etc. He said he hadn't' seen that at all, he said he hadn't given it a second thought and then pointed out that I've been driving up and down to his place nearly every weekend and driving up early on Monday mornings for work and he felt that my commitment was more that there, so that made me feel a whole lot better.


He's a good guy and I think he really likes me. I'm falling for him so hard and fast, its actually ridiculous. The funniest part of all of this is that my parents are crazy about him too! My Step dad says Dave adores me in the way that he always said my ex should have. My mum says she hasn't really seen it yet but she's blown away by his behavior in the stories I tell her. Like when Dave brought me home last night, his second trip to my house that weekend, my mum chuckled and said, "Wow, when I think of how we had to fetch and carry you from your ex's..." so I've got the thumbs up from both of them, which is awesome.

Another slightly amusing thing is, we went for an ice cream yesterday and when we found a table, Dave pulled a chair out and I started sitting down on another chair and he gestured to the chair he'd pulled out for me to sit at and I suddenly realized it was for me and apologized for sitting somewhere else - it must have looked so rude and when I apologized and said I hadn't realized it was for me, he said, "You're also not used to that being done for you." That's truer than he knows! But I also think a couple of things have happened like that that I haven't even realized simply because, I'm not used to it and I think he's realizing more and more about my past relationship as time goes on.

When we started getting semi-serious but not going out yet, I asked him what he liked about me and he said he thought I had the most awesome sense of humour, I was witty, quick, gentle, compassionate blah blah blah. And I remember thinking, some people have told me I'm pretty...I don't know if you've noticed anything... But you know what I've realized? I've always placed SO much importance on it because of the emphasis my dad and my ex have always placed on that. I have ALWAYS wanted to be with someone that loves me for me. My personality needs to be what they love about me because my looks will go - and that is something that always worried me about being with my ex, would he still love me after my youth? Very deep, I know, but I really am feeling good about the situation. Dave has since told me that I'm beautiful and I'm really glad that things have happened in that order. Ah, I cannot tell you how good he is to me. I went to his house this weekend and didn't lift a finger. He cooks, washes, helps out when I do anything. If I try and help him cook, he sits me down and pours me a glass of wine. VERY hard to get used to but can you believe it, I think I'm falling in love with him.... I cannot wait for Friday night...

Extra, Extra, Read All About It!

My new boy is organizing a surprise for me for my birthday. I'm so excited and so stoked coz all I ever wanted was for my ex to take the initiative and do something like that - just once. Even if he just phoned and made a reservation for us or something. I would hint for it or leave it open, I even threw him a couple of surprise parties so he could see how much fun they are but he never did in all our years together and here this boy is - who hasn't even been with me for a month - and he wants to do this for me. I'm blown away. In fact, very weird this, but I'd be lying if I said I was completely comfortable with the situation. The truth is that I really am not used to being treated the way he treats me. All I wanted from my ex was just a little bit of what I'm getting now and I think its because the only proper relationship I've ever known is that one with my ex and how he treated me and if I ever asked for anything he'd say my standards were too high and he was a shit boyfriend bla bla bla. So I stopped asking for change and decided to lower my standards and just be happy. Something a friend said to me (from her mum) which is something I'm trying to convey to all my friends because it's such a valuable lesson was, "Don't let anyone EVER tell you that your standards are too high. They are your standards and they are what will make you happy. Do not compromise on that."

People that aren't very close to me are starting to hear about my new boyfriend and I'm hearing things that I'm expecting everyone to say, "Sho! That was quick!" Anyways, I've decided that people have already made up their minds of what they think about me and I'm sick of bending around everyone else's standards and lives so they don't have anything to talk about. It's my life and I'm an adult and I know what I'm doing so.... a little scary but like I said: my focus now is happiness and me.