From my previous post, “Things start taking a dive” there is a big gap in my memory of this affair, however that’s not to say that nothing was going on. In this time, many people in the community found out about the affair just because Dad and Sam became so brash about meeting in public or ‘bumping in to one another’ at functions and always fell back onto their excuse of, “…but we’re just friends…”. How original…. Over this time my mum explains this bazaar routine as something along these lines: “I would notice things were changing, clothes, hair or just his behavior and I’d say to my friends, he’s seeing her again. My friends responded that I had now become completely paranoid and I needed to get a grip – it’s all over now. I’d ask my husband…are you seeing Sam again? He would flip, saying I had a psychological problem, I was sick in the head. What was wrong with me? I would settle down, knowing I have to deal with a psychological illness of dreaming up affairs between my husband and another woman and a few months down the line, he’d come to me, apologising profusely, saying that he and Sam had been seeing each other, he was so sorry but it was all over now – forever. Then everything would be dandy for a year or two then Sam would get bored in her marriage, I’d notice a change in my husband and the cycle would start all over again.”
You’re probably cursing my mum right now, thinking what a stupid person she must be, however that is not the case at all. My mother is one of those remarkable people that has the ability to see the best of every situation. She trusts and loves people and believes that everyone puts in their best efforts, speaks the truth and lives honestly; you can’t blame someone for thinking like that when they’ve lived their whole life like that. So pretty much anyone would be able to pull the wool over my mother’s eyes with this kind of attitude, however, she’s also very intelligent so she didn’t just aimlessly believe my dad over and over without thinking it through. You see, Dad and Sam are also incredibly good liars and manipulators; in fact they’re phenomenally good at it. I believe they lie to the point where they believe the point where they completely believe the stories themselves. One of my favorite examples of the manipulation and crap that Sam gave to my mum was one day (one of the many) that the most recent affair had just come out and she rushed over to our home, a common occurrence because my mum was such a good friend of hers (….?????????!!!!!!!!!) and over tea, calmly explained to my mum that she had to realize that the affair was a lot harder for her to deal with than for my mum to deal with. My mum was blown away by this and asked, “Really? Why is that?” To which Sam replied,
“Because I’m a much stronger Christian than you are.” I love it! It’s an absolutely classic example of how she operates. Self-centered and selfish down to the core. She never ceased to amaze any of us with her comments and her actions…
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Things start taking a Dive...
Now, because I am not sure what point the incident happened with my father, I cannot tell you when the next installment was only that I still had not yet started school. My parents started a diving course. This caused great excitement for my brother and me as we were introduced to the world of wetsuits, goggles, snorkels and air tanks. There was always a very social atmosphere afterwards where we’d all go to a nearby pub for a beer and the kids could play catchers or hide and seek outside. I was very excited but also cautious about the fact that Sam was doing this course as well. In diving, one has a ‘buddy system’ where you pair up with someone and you have to make sure that they are alright at all times thereby no one can get left behind or get into trouble without being noticed. I was very disturbed to learn that Dad and Sam were ‘buddies’ and I had visions of them making out underwater (5 year old logic here ;-)) – Ah, hated it – it haunted me.
Quiet some time later, once the relevant training had been done, all the divers and their families went up the coast to a resort where the diving is very good, to have a diving holiday. The beach was great, the kids were great, but I could not relax because I knew the two of them were going off on frequent occasions to “dive”. It was on this holiday that my Dad announced to my Mum that he was leaving her for Sam and that she and the children were going to move to the city. My mum has always said that it is so strange what one worries about in situations like this. She said this holiday was in the December before I started “big” school. That was her only focus, she said to my dad, “How could you do this? How could you do this now, to your daughter? She is so excited about starting ‘big school’, going into Grade one and having the same teacher that you had in Grade one at the same school that you went to? How could you possibly tell her she’s going to change schools a month before she is due to go?” She always says now what a huge thing this was for her, it was her first child going to school and she placed a lot of importance on it.
My brother and I knew none of this was going on, until we were told that the whole family was having an afternoon sleep – weird. Alarm bells were going off for me because this was very unusual. I could not sleep so I pretended to and listened to my parents whispering, obviously trying to sort things out but I could not make out what they were saying. When they thought we were both asleep they left to go and discuss probably what I’ve just mentioned in the above paragraph.
That evening we were lucky enough to go on a night drive on the beach to watch Leather-back turtles lay eggs. However my mum was crying quietly during the trip. This was the first times and one of the few times I would see her unhappiness as a result of my father. She did not let on what was going on but I knew it was connected with Dad and Sam.
After all of this Dad and Sam ‘nobly’ went to talk things through on the beach and came back to tell their relevant spouses that they were not going to leave them but they had some ‘rules’ about coming back into the marriages. I obviously don’t know what they are but I think they went something along the lines that they could give each other birthday and Christmas presents, they could call and visit each other etc. So that was how things continued between the four adults for quiet some time. Dad and Sam had their spouses and each other, pretty much, whenever they wanted. This, however, was not enough for them…
Quiet some time later, once the relevant training had been done, all the divers and their families went up the coast to a resort where the diving is very good, to have a diving holiday. The beach was great, the kids were great, but I could not relax because I knew the two of them were going off on frequent occasions to “dive”. It was on this holiday that my Dad announced to my Mum that he was leaving her for Sam and that she and the children were going to move to the city. My mum has always said that it is so strange what one worries about in situations like this. She said this holiday was in the December before I started “big” school. That was her only focus, she said to my dad, “How could you do this? How could you do this now, to your daughter? She is so excited about starting ‘big school’, going into Grade one and having the same teacher that you had in Grade one at the same school that you went to? How could you possibly tell her she’s going to change schools a month before she is due to go?” She always says now what a huge thing this was for her, it was her first child going to school and she placed a lot of importance on it.
My brother and I knew none of this was going on, until we were told that the whole family was having an afternoon sleep – weird. Alarm bells were going off for me because this was very unusual. I could not sleep so I pretended to and listened to my parents whispering, obviously trying to sort things out but I could not make out what they were saying. When they thought we were both asleep they left to go and discuss probably what I’ve just mentioned in the above paragraph.
That evening we were lucky enough to go on a night drive on the beach to watch Leather-back turtles lay eggs. However my mum was crying quietly during the trip. This was the first times and one of the few times I would see her unhappiness as a result of my father. She did not let on what was going on but I knew it was connected with Dad and Sam.
After all of this Dad and Sam ‘nobly’ went to talk things through on the beach and came back to tell their relevant spouses that they were not going to leave them but they had some ‘rules’ about coming back into the marriages. I obviously don’t know what they are but I think they went something along the lines that they could give each other birthday and Christmas presents, they could call and visit each other etc. So that was how things continued between the four adults for quiet some time. Dad and Sam had their spouses and each other, pretty much, whenever they wanted. This, however, was not enough for them…
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