Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Pot-Hole in One

So, while my computer is backing up and I can't do any work, I have no more excuses to not catch you up on my exciting life and times :)

Seeing as I havn't been in touch for a while - I'll fill you in from where I last remember filling you in.

The online dating thing has been fun, however with the good comes the bad... (are you getting a sense this story may be good...?) So I meet Jason for coffee (or my new 'pre-date' - initial short, to the point meeting to see if there's anything there) but it was just before christmas and I was rushing off to a Carols by candlelight at the Botanical Gardens and there wasn't all that much time to meet. The conversation was great - attraction was on the negative scale. He is in his last year of Law and has been studying elsewhere and recently moved back up to my city with his parents. So I rush off to my carols, feeling a little bad that it was so short and don't give much more thought to it.

A little while later, Jason asks if I'd like to meet up again. I feel so bad about the short, rushed coffee and I enjoyed the conversation. I'm also really trying to open up my mind to 'different' kinds of guys, hoping I may just be pleasantly surprised (This, for the most part, has yet to happen) So I agree. Jason suggests that we play putt-putt.... mmmm - now this would be a great idea on a Friday or Saturday night clubbed together with a few drinks and festive vibe, where we could go off and party with our friends afterwards or something but it was a Monday night... Yup. He was about the only person who thought it was a good idea for that night. No one else was there and there was even less of a vibe. I tried to make it less awkward and fun but I don't know if I pulled it off.

Out of politeness, I warned him that I was no good. Any idea what dear Jason did...??? He doesn't say a word but does a demonstration of how to hit with a putt-putt club. Stifling a giggle - I'm pretty sure I kept it quiet - I proceeded to warm up into the game but my darling Jason continues to do a demonstration before EVERY SINGLE shot I took. In the end I was beating him and he STILL proceeds to show me how to hit with a putt-putt club! I was ready to pummel him into the next hole with my club until I took a deep breath and thought - clearly this is not working, so just relax, enjoy the game and you won't ever have to see him again.

We got to the end of the game and Jason wanted to go for a cup of coffee. "Ok," I think,"I'm about to drop this guy, after a shit putt-putt game, the least I can do is go for a cup of coffee." Off we go and Jason then asks,
"Do I make you uncomfortable?" AWKWARD! I write my unease off to lack of sleep and severe stress and he seems to buy it. We chat for a while and basically it was as clear as sunlight that you couldn't have put two more different people together if you'd tried. BEFORE he gets the bill, he wants to know if I'll see him again (this oke's a sucker for punishment) I explain that he's a lovely guy but I just didn't see a romantic connection emerging bla bla bla - nice but firm and very clear. I'm proud of myself, I can do this breaking off thing without squirming :)

A week later however, 23:43 I get an sms from Jason "Do you want to have a casual relationship with me under the following conditions (How's the lawyer talk??!!) 1) The relationship is strictly monogomous. 2)We are always respectful and honest with each other. 3) we go and get tested together (!!!!!!!!!!!!) 4) it lasts as long as we both find it a fulfilling and uplifting experience. What do you think? We could be uncomplicated, passionate, generous lovers." Ok - hilarious but frrreaky!! So I decide the best way to get my message across is no reply.

He hasn't heard from me for a week. So what does he do...? He sends ANOTHER message!!! "Hey :-) Do you have any single friends that are looking to meet people and who you think I would get on with?" So girls... who's keen? Shame. Poor Jason is now affectionately known as putt-putt boy.

It was Triston's (long-term ex) birthday on Monday - March is a month-long celebration for that family as 3 members of the family have their birthdays then and I've been miserable for days and dreading the approaching date. Remarkably, I was fine on the day. I sent him a message for his birthday and a friend of mine asked me to play wingman for her up in my hometown (which also happens to be where Triston lives). Off we went - she was meeting Garth from the Tv show - a friend of hers. We saw Rod, a friend of Triston's, and his new girlfriend there. A little later on, Garth arrives and we chat to him a bit - he's actually there for a birthday party...mmmm - Triston's birthday....Rod's there.....mmmm - what are the chances...? Minimal - calm down. Nats (other wingman) asks him, "So, who's birthday is it?" Garth fumbles around for a name...."Ti, Te - Triston!" Nats gasps with horror, Nicole goes 'aw-aw' I laugh... seriously...what are the chances that on one of the hardest nights post break up - I have to be at the restaurant with him and his lovely girlfriend, singing happy birthday. Oh well. Take it like a man...

Triston walked past and saw my brother and stopped to say hello, then saw me. I gave him a hug and wished him happy birthday - he's put on weight and is not looking well. I felt sorry for him but happy for me. (I know its selfish but I needed that right then). Nats pipes up - Ew - you're way hotter - I wouldn't kiss that if you paid me! Seriously bud - you're much better off. She had us in stiches of laughter and lightened my evening no end.

I was so proud of myself for not falling apart and not wanting to either. It was a very big step in my little recovery journey and I was just so happy with how far I'd come. Seeing them all in their little uptown clan, prepping for Marriage and 2.4 children with the little picket fence house - it all came flooding back to me - the falseness and especially how his friends treated me after the breakup - they're not real friends and that's not the life I want. I'm tired after a late night and long drive back but I'm feeling so good and so happy about my decision. I'm still single but I'm not in a relationship where I can't be me and where I'm unhappy. I think that's an important epiphany. Ok - enough with the deep stuff. Shortly after this, although it will be out of order, I will tell you how I came to meet Triston's new THAT'S a story and a half!

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