Tuesday, July 8, 2008

FRUSTRATED

Ah! I could kill myself sometimes, I’ve been going through a bit of a low patch with the Ex – Factor and missing him like hell. It’s driving me a little mad, to be honest. I know I was unhappy, I know I was controlled, I know I couldn’t be myself but at the same time, it was very real love and the connection we had was extremely close. He was my best friend. I am feeling very confused over this whole thing and because it was such a long relationship that I really don’t have that much experience in the whole break up thing. This is the guy I thought I was going to marry. All I want to do is call him and see how he’s doing and get that contact back. I miss what we had so much and it feels really weird because as soon as I got out that relationship, the feeling I had was one of overwhelming relief and freedom. I felt I had mourned the relationship in the last year (at least) that we were together. I knew I could expect sadness and to miss him and I was surprised when I didn’t. He took the whole thing really badly and has been struggling with it. At first he wouldn’t stop calling, emailing, visiting my mother etc and I put a stop to that because I didn’t feel it was helping either of us. Maybe it took a pace change, settling back into life etc for me to feel it. I don’t know. All I know is I want that friendship back. Mmmm what to do…. To call or not to call…? Help me out here please…

3 comments:

Succubus Girl said...

I understand how you feel , but sometimes you have to let go completely. If he was struggling with the break up , calling him and trying to be his friend will only hurt him more as he may think that there is a chance you will get back together. It is painfull when a relationship breaks down but believe me , this is my 2nd major breakup with someone and trust me , time does help ... if not just do what i do and scream at the top of your voice into a pillow ! take care x

With all the Finesse of a Badger said...

hey...i like your blog..its very honest, and thanks for the comment on my poem. I can't help feeling so sad about your predicament.. but its best not to call...you'll only drag up the past and make things worse for both of you! hope this helps x

Nihar Borgohain said...

Hi...you have a nice blog.
Generally speaking, you've got to make the right choices in your life. Or your blog will start to look like mine(please check it out). Pardon me for my ill humor, but frustration some times leads to a more grave situation. You should evolve and try not to look back at all. Be happy and frustrate that bloody frustration for frustrating you.