A Day in Malaysia

On Sunday evening I was collected at 10:30pm sharp, believe it or
not…I think that is the only thing that has happened on time, besides
school, since I've been here. I was told to wait outside the 'colour'
shop which translates into waiting outside the paint shop, which I
duly did. While I was watching the number on motorbikes with Thais
passing by diminish by the minute, I was keeping my eyes open for
potential 'versions' of buses wondering what my ride would be like.
To be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to this trip. I had to
miss two days of school for it and like the nerdy teacher I've become,
all I cared about was that 'my kids' had to write a maths test on
Monday that they weren't ready for and I had a lot of work we needed
to get through this week because of loosing a day in the week later.
I eyed the 'potential' modes of transport suspiciously, I spotted a
truck that reminded me of what we called the school 'Cattle
truck' turn into the road to my hotel and my heart sank, "Oh no," I
thought, "Please don't let that be my bus to Malaysia!" Les than four
minutes later, I got a call from someone who was waiting at my hotel to take me to Malaysia. I was very relieved to find that my
bus wasn't a cattle truck but a good, strong 'sprinter, I took the
second-to-last seat which came complete with a blankie on it for my
warmth, ironic in Thailand I know, but these Thais really do know how
to blast their air-cons! I snuggled under it and we began our journey
with me not having the faintest idea how long it was going to take us.
We reached Big C – our local and cheapest shopping centre to pick up
our final passenger. This man, in his over sized yellow raincoat, said
goodbye to his Thai girlfriend and climbed onto the bus and into the
seat next to me saying, "Watch out – I'm a snorer!" It turns out, Dan
is a photographer from Chicago who came to Thailand four years ago for
a change of scenery and has been "maybe going back" all this time. He
has his own photography company here and has built up a good client base. With our mutual interest in architecture and photography, we got on incredibly well.

At about 1:30pm, we were told to shut up so the passengers could
sleep, which I was more than happy to comply with and fell straight
asleep. The drive was as can be expected – sore bums, legs and backs
and we had a break every two and a half hours. So my scenery was – a
garage, gross Muslim style filthy toilets and, of course, a 7 eleven
garage shop, which I'd sleepwalk around twice to get feeling in my
legs again. At around 5:30am (Monday) we reached the
Thailand/Malaysia Border where we drowsily submitted our passports and
filled in the necessary forms. Everyone handed in their two passport
photos and mine had been taken on two separate occasions and this was
unacceptable, despite the fact that the lady organising the trip had
assured me it wouldn't be a problem. Shortly after the border, the
bus driver pulled over and told me where to get my photos done with
comments flying round the bus, mainly from Dan, like "Ah! There's
always one, hey!" So I went into one of those photo booths commonly
found in America for those 'just for fun' kind of photos and this
passport photo place has made it into a 'do-it-yourself' passport
photo booth. You sit in the booth and press the button when you are
ready, smile for each photo and get them printed a few minutes later.
The guy in front of me had pictures that shocked the living daylights
out of the Malaysians working in the office. "Ah!!!" they said when
they saw the images of him pulling tongues, squinting his eyes etc…
"AAaaaayyyyy!" they said, this was supposed to mean "What the hell is
this?" To which this guy replied,
"What? No one told me my passport photos had to be professional
photos!" I tell you, I feel for these Malaysians and Thais with the
morons they have to deal with regardless of their limited English.

Soon after this, we stopped for breakfast at an Asian Roadhouse. I
had noodles, spiced vegetable rice, a cold fried EXTREMELY oily egg, a
slice of cucumber and a bottle of water. It was very good food after
a long journey, which, by the way was ten hours thus far and not over
yet – all in all, travelling time was twelve hours plus our time at
the embassy.

Something I didn't know was that Penang is an island. There is a very large port in Malaysia and the bridge's glorious
aesthetics are still in the process of being mounted. Trees line the
roads and road signs are written in English and appear far less
comical than Thailand's so-called English signs. It certainly seems
more geared towards Westerners, however, there is not much discretion,
for example I saw a 'School for the spastic' and thought that was
pretty hectic. We also passed a church with it's neighbouring
building displaying an over sized Swastika symbol overhead. This was
a little shocking to say the least but I later learned that the 'legs'
point in the opposite direction to the Swastika symbol and it is the
sign for a religion here or something…pretty weird…

Penang itself is an exquisite blend of culture in terms of people,
their influences and architecture and I therefore forgot all my
tiredness and got lost in my afternoon discovering and photographing
any building that caught my eye. The main cultures on the island are Chinese,
Balinese, Indian and Portuguese. The architecture is very old school
but was done 100% according to their cultural building regulations –
as if they were building back home. So you have these very strong
influences coming through however, they do not clash with one another
which really surprised me. I came across the Penang Museum and learnt
of the people's history and traditions. Penang's cultural influences
come from three basic groups. The Chinese, the Malays and the
Balinese. For the girls, I saw traditional dowries, wedding gowns and
crockery. For the boys, the most awesome 'Ninja' swords. I also saw
an archway decoration from a Chinese home that would traditionally be
in the entrance hall. The entrance hall of the Chinese homes is an
open display of wealth. This is where the visitors wait for the
family when they visit (including your potential son-in-law's parents
one day) so it would hold all the best furniture to impress the
visitors and potential suitors. This archway was overwhelming – it
measured over 6 meters in length and at least 4 meters in height.
Marriage, for the Chinese was a way to expand your business network.
The Chinese group as a culture was rather small in Malaysia initially
so the wealthy Chinese preferred to intermarry to keep the wealth
amongst the wealth of their cultural group. Of course you read all
this and it all seems to make 'history text book' sense and then you
see the old faded photographs of the wedding ceremonies – these brides
and grooms look about eight or nine on their wedding day – it is
frightening. However, marriage today is, hopefully very different to
what marriage meant then. Regardless – it does make me feel a little
past my sell-by date when you see an eight year old in a wedding dress
;-)

Despite this glorious history, the island has a vast amount of poverty
and homeless people. There are houses and temples that have been
deserted years ago and entire gardens have grown over, in and through
them, giving them almost completely giving them an ethereal quality,
which kept me snapping away like only I can…

The following day we were collected at around 11am Thai time, 12 noon
Malaysian time. We loaded our bags in the bus at our hotel, climbed
into the bus and began our 12 hour trip home…just as I was settling
in, literally 5 seconds after we began driving, the driver pulled over
and said "Lunch time!" It was so funny – it felt like de ja vous or
something. We ate at an Indian restaurant – I took one look at this
food with the richest, warmest colours of an artist's palette and
thought – it all looks SO good but I doubt my stomachs going to
handle this… I am proud to say that I ate the delicious food amidst a
bunch of stuck up foreigners with equally stuck up noses and thoroughly
enjoyed it. I am beginning to feel braver and braver with my food…we
finally did get on the road shortly afterwards, collected our
passports with no issues and drove through Malaysia in daylight which
we could now enjoy. It is countryside that is easy on the eyes. At
some stage, around an hour north of the Malaysian border, we passed an
area of Thailand that had recently had extremely heavy rains. The
water had flooded across the road, through houses, shops and had
swamped the landscape. People were simply carrying on as usual. I
feel so used to seeing these sights on TV but it is quiet scary when
you are driving amidst these people…living like that.

Getting to see the odd bit of Thailand and meeting the people at good
old Seven Eleven – I finally understood why they call Thailand the
'land of smiles'. Complete strangers would beam a 'mother's love'
kind of smile to me and greet me. What a warm experience…I feel like
the local people in Phuket have just been over-exposed to unfriendly
'farang' or foreigners to be known as part of the 'land of smiles'
anymore… but it was good to see. I didn't sleep much on the way home
as the driver we had was on the opposite end of the scale from our
driver on our way up there. Roaring up people's backsides, screeching
to a halt, smashing the accelerator while passing them on blind rises
with on-coming traffic – he was a mad man and I understood why Dan had
described our first driver as "Good. He's very good. No, seriously,
he's a really good driver. We're very lucky. He's very good." Our
stop for supper was at a charming little restaurant – I have no idea
where…! It was like a little log cabin amidst a wild garden with
fairy lights…on our way there we got to choose our menu which went
something along the lines of:
Chicken fried rice
Chicken fried rice with Basil
Beef fried rice
Beef fried rice with chillies
I went with Chicken fried rice, one of my new favourite meals, mainly
because of the price, but it is made really well here. In we went
into this charming setting for our dinner which we were all ravenous
for. We sat at the table and were served a delicious ton-yung soup.
This was the same soup which I was served on my first night in Bangkok
– the one I gagged at when I tasted its very strong flavour – and
guess what – I devoured the delicious bowl – it seems my taste buds
are adjusting ;-) Then I moved on to this brightly coloured chicken
fried rice…now, there is something you should know about me, I have a great appreciation
for food, cooking and spices, herbs etc but unfortunately my taste
buds cannot always share this appreciation as they cannot handle spicy
food – they go a little mad when I put pepper in my mouth. However,
everything here is SO spicy that I am thrilled to say – my little
taste buds are being fried and evolving…the thing is, is that the food
here is SO amazing that even if it is spicy (and you have retarded
taste buds) you cannot stop eating it. So I begin devouring this very
colourful Chicken fried rice on basil when I'm thinking wow, food is
so good, I'm so hungry and my taste buds are going "%*$£ What are you
feeding me?" I begin to examine my meal carefully…Ah, yes – those
lovely colourful red and green peppers…are actually chillies. No
problem taste buds, we'll put the chillies aside – 'cause there's no
way in hell I'm stopping this awesome meal half way though… Sadly
though, my taste buds were not having it – they were still yelling
naughty words ant me and I was forced to yet again, inspect my meal to
satisfy this petulant child of mine… "Oh, ok – I see what you're on
about" Removing the garnishing chillies was not enough, there were
also finely sliced and diced chillies well mixed into my fried rice.
"Well," I said, getting slightly impatient with this whining – "You're
just going to have to deal with it. – because like I said earlier,
this food is good and I'm hungry." and those two words don't normally
go in a sentence together because when I'm hungry I don't talk, I eat…
That is how my first 'chillie meal came to be eaten. I was so proud
of myself that I had the widest grin on my face – that is until I
began to smell the after effects of the meal in the bus from one of
our fellow passengers…

Friday, 5 December was Father's day in Thailand. This is not the father's
day I am used to where we give gifts to our
dads for being special fathers to us, it is because it is the King's
birthday. Should you wish to you can treat your father to something
as well though. So if it is the King's birthday, it is therefore a
public holiday and we get the day off school. Yey!!!! We were only
required to wear our bright yellow 'King's shirt' to a function that
evening. I was still suffering some of the after-effects from a
relatively safe looking restaurant across the street from me where
a friend and I had eaten lunch and I'd ordered chicken stir fry and I
was served seafood stir fry. So…as much as I didn't want to share
that with you – I had to convey how much I did NOT want to be at this
event one way or another…forgive me. So my mood was pessimistic on
the evening of the 5th, always keeping my eye out for the nearest
bathroom – which I really did not want to have to discover. The event
took place at Sa ha hin, in an open
arena. We were the only group of farangs at this event, just about
everybody else was Thai and we looked like a sea of marigolds in our
king shirt's. We wondered around before things got started (as it
always seems to happen in Thailand). There is a nearby pond which had
a giant sea serpent with lotus flowers made out of neon coloured
fabric and wire – which looked very festive from a distance. The
actual stage had an over sized picture of the king, the Thai and King's
flag and it was garnished in gold accents, marigold flowers, incense,
candles and spirit houses. It was lovely to look at…for the first
hour. Then I began to get over this whole event. My body was weak
and we were standing the whole time, doing nothing in particular. I
only understood every 400th word – no jokes, and I think I only
understood it because it was the name of my school or a greeting.
When the thanks were finally over and some random people had gone up
on stage to do whatever they were doing up there, we sang the King's
song. Some of us had bought candles from locals, which are small,
colourful candles, held in a cup with a marigold or frangie pangie at
the base, it looks very festive and beautiful. So at this point, the
candles are lit and the lights put out. The only light was shining on
the king's picture and coming from our candles – the golden light that
surrounded the event was breathtaking. My mood lifted instantly. The
candles were then blown out and the fireworks began – What a show!
So it felt so worth being there in the end…